Shock news for F1 today as Jenson Button reveals the real reason for his dramatic loss of driving form:I'VE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH RAFA BENITEZ!
Button, (seen here oblivious to everything except the thought of his beloved Rafa), has posed an increasing worry to his Brawn teammates as his obsession with LFC supremo Benitez has continued to grow unabated.
An insider told this reporter, "As everyone knows, normally Jenson goes round clean shaven - the way the girls like him - but as soon as this fixation with Benitez started he grew that silly goatee as a sort of tribute to the portly Spaniard.
"Of course, as soon as the Brawn people and their sponsors realised Button was spending more time in his cockpit tenderly caressing the beard instead of steering his way to victory they prevailed upon him to shave it off. Unfortunately, the next day he immediately grew it back, and this is the pattern which's continued right up to the present."
Another insider revealed: "Another alarming quirk he's developed is to carry a half-filled glass of Red Bull around everywhere with him. Apparently Red Bull is his term of endearment for Benitez - 'red' of course being the colour of Liverpool's strip, and 'bull' the national symbol of Spain...or something like that. The thinking is, the glass of Red Bull's supposed to be some sort of secret lover's signal to Benitez, something along the lines of, 'I'm only half-sated - fill me up'."
When confronted by this reporter, Button admitted, "Yes, it's true - Red Bull is constantly on my mind. Even when I sleep, Red Bull fills my dreams. Even all my daydreams are about Red Bull banging away at my tailgates."
(Liverpool midfielder Xabi Alonso, yesterday, also thinking of Rafa Benitez).
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